… it is a charming thing to be loved by every body: and the way to obtain it is,
 never to quarrel or be angry with any body,
 never to tell a story [lie],
 do all the kind things you can to your companions,
 give them every thing rather than to yourself,
 pity & help every thing you see in distress
 and learn your books and improve your minds.
this will make every body fond of you, and desirous of shewing it to you:
To Ann Cary Randolph, Thomas Jefferson Randolph, & Ellen Wayles Randolph, March 7, 1802
Note: I have completed blog posts from the 1st year of Jefferson’s 1st term, the 1st year of his 2nd term, and the 1st year of his retirement. This series begins in March 1802, the 2nd year of his 1st administration.
Patrick Lee’s Explanation
Leaders who want to be loved should do these things.
Jefferson wrote to his grandchildren, ages 11, 10 & 6, to encourage their best possible conduct. In this simple list, Papa (the children’s name for him) told the young ones what behaviors would cause people to love them. The advice doesn’t apply to children, only.